MARY KATHLEEN FREEDMAN -RATH 1942-2020

When my father, James (Jim) Freedman died in 1972 my Aunt Kathy became a very important part of my life. I was 7 yrs old at the time. Kathy wanted to make sure that my brother, Rusty, and I were properly cared for as well as make sure we knew my father’s side of the family. For the next several years, Kathy would make trips to Texas where we lived with my mother to check in on us. Kathy had a way of making holidays, birthdays, etc. so special. Although she never had children, she seemed to intuitively know what we needed / wanted and had such an ability to connect with us and make us laugh. Receiving a gift from Aunt Kathy was always something special – you never knew what to expect! I remember one time opening a large gift box from Kathy, only to find another box, and then another box and so on until I was left with a very small package – it was something silly like a package of gum or TicTacs!! She understood that half the fun was the process and anticipation of opening the package!! During summer vacation, Kathy would take me and Rusty to New York City where she lived at the time. I remember being in such awe as we explored the city – it was quite a change from the small Texas town we lived in. After a few days in the city we would make our way to Pennsylvania where we stayed in the Pocono Mountains at a resort called Tamiment. We attended day camp and stayed very busy with activities such as swimming, canoeing, camping, talent shows and Sadie Hawkins dances. I remember one day walking home from camp and as I approached our bungalow I walked right into some kind of hive of stinging insects (not sure what they were-bees, yellow jackets??). Everything in my hands went flying and I screamed bloody murder and ran. Little did I know that Kathy was filming the whole thing!! (hmmm – coincidence??) For comic relief, we would watch that film and then she would play it backwards and it was even funnier backwards!! We had lots of laughs from that little mishap. Those summers at Tamiment provided the happiest memories of my childhood. A childhood marked by parental divorce, a custody battle, and then the sudden death of my father. That time with Aunt Kathy allowed me to feel like a child again, carefree and loved, and for that I will be forever grateful. Kathy (and Alex) provided me so many other enriching experiences from travel to experiencing the arts. They took me to plays, musicals, and museums. We traveled through Israel and England. They were such great tour guides because of their intimate knowledge of the places we visited. Those experiences opened up a whole world that I may not have otherwise been exposed to. I have so many wonderful memories as a result of Kathy and Alex’s generosity. Kathy’s laugh is one thing I will remember fondly. I’m not sure how to describe it but it was infectious. I remember many times something would tickle her funny bone and she would start laughing. It would be hard for her to talk through the laughter and tears, and you could not help laughing along with her! Kathy was a natural storyteller and had an amazing memory as well. I always learned something from listening to her. Kathy was tough and strong willed. For so many years she struggled with chronic pain and other various health issues. She never complained and fought through it to maintain a full and meaningful life. I will miss her dearly. I am thankful I have so many wonderful memories of our time together to carry with me. Alex, thank you for taking such good care of her. Rest in peace Aunt Kathy, you will be missed.

Dearest Kathy, Hi! I know you're in a beautiful place right now, but I want you to know that deep in our hearts we really missed you. May this message reach you in paradise. Thank you for those 3 beautiful years that we've been together, you and alex treated me well like your own family eventhough we are not family by blood. We hope you find peace and joy wherever you are. Just always remember that you are truly missed and loved.

For as long as I can remember, Aunt Kathy was always there. She would visit us during holidays while her brother Jim was still living and then after his death in 1972. She began a lifelong commitment that she had made to Jim – to look after Michelle and I…and that she did! While she was living in New York and our family in Texas, she always made time to visit for holidays, birthdays, special events such as baptisms, weddings, etc. If she was unable to visit she would send letters and packages. We all loved receiving something from Kathy. You never knew what was coming as she was very much a prankster! I mentioned prankster because I remember her short sheeting our beds or pinning sleeves or pant legs together. She would laugh hysterically watching us. She would also love to add confetti to letters or would wrap multiple boxes for a small trinket. I recall one visit to La Grange when she hired a taxi from Austin (we never had taxi’s in La Grange in the 1980’s). The whole neighborhood was inquiring who our special guest was arriving in the taxi. She even put the taxi driver up in a motel for the night so he wouldn’t have to drive back at night. She was always a very giving person. She would always bring Michelle and I to New York for the summer. We would go to the Pocono Mountains and stay with her close friends Bill & Charlotte Thomas. They owned a Camphouse in Tamiment Resort (Sandyville). Thank you Kathy for all those memories. Kathy had made a best friend here in La Grange, Virgie Mode. I spent a lot of time with Virgie’s family on their farm in La Grange. Virgie would keep Kathy updated on what was going on in La Grange with Michelle and I. She always wanted to be sure we were doing okay and staying out of trouble. I recall a trip when Kathy and Alex visited La Grange together. While here, Alex had the honors of knighting Brett at age 5. He performed a Knighting Ceremony in full regalia (Thundercats pajamas and cape) which was held on our back patio. Brett was standing on a box and Alex using Brett’s Thundercats play sword for the initiation into a knight. I cherish all the times we visited Kathy & Alex in Israel or London. They both were always planning great excursions and trips to take our family. From having a picnic at the Dead Sea, to scuba diving in the Red Sea, to stealing artifacts at Caesarea – we went through a gated area and fence. She just had to have something!!!! Fun! Fun! London trips – we traveled southern England and stayed in B & B’s with beautiful gardens. She was always exposing our family to different cultures and ways of life. There is so much I could tell you about my Aunt Kathy. I have always admired her tenacious desire to learning. She was well read and always learning and trying new things, from cooking, quilting, Hebrew lessons, gardening. She was very good at most anything she put her mind to. From early years in the clothing / marketing business, to renovating apartments in New York, Israel and the home in London. She had a keen eye for design and art. She was also very opinionated and had a memory like an elephant. As Alex would state sometimes… too good of a memory. She was the strongest and bravest person I know. Throughout her many illnesses, aliments, surgeries, she never complained and always asked about the well being of others when she was suffering greatly. As we say in Texas… Tough as a boot! She was a true warrior. From the deepest part of my soul, thank you so much Aunt Kathy for being a huge part of my life. You were always there for me. I will be forever grateful that you were in my life. You will always be missed. Alex, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you at this time. Kathy and her family are very fortunate to have had you in her life and ours. We love you and will always be here for you. With all my love to Kathy, going to miss you so much! Rusty

Our Aunt Kathy was truly “one of a kind.” Someone who definitely was very persistent in making sure the Freedman family ties stayed connected even when we all lived distances apart. Our family in Texas has so many wonderful memories of her visits, trips we took together, family reunions, letters received, surprise packages and her many phone calls – always wanted to know how the family was doing. Our sons, Brett & Brenden were truly blessed to have such a wonderful “Great Aunt.” She always managed to stay in touch and continued to be a BIG part of their lives even though she was so many miles away. There was so much excitement when she came to visit. We would stay up late hours to hear all her stories about family, work and her travels. One of my favorite memories is when she and Alex came to Texas. Brett was so intrigued about wanting to become a Knight. So Mr. Alex & Kathy made sure that this happened… we held an official “Knighting Ceremony” on our patio and Brett was now a Knight! This was the best day ever for Brett at age 5!! Kathy and Brenden had their special moments together too… they would always be the two late night owls staying up talking about… who knows what? They always had so much to share with each other. I can still picture Brenden with his big bowl of cereal and Kathy with an iced coffee in hand, just chatting away and having lots of laughing moments. They both have so many memories to cherish with Aunt Kathy. I always admired her strongness… truly a fighter throughout her life. Even when she was dealing with so many health issues, she never complained – was always more concerned about other family members and their well being. I will always cherish all the wonderful times we were able to have with Aunt Kathy. She will continue to hold a special place in my heart. Those we love don’t go away, they continue to walk beside us every day…unseen, unheard, but always near. She will be always so loved, so missed, but so very dear in our hearts. Alex, hold on to all those wonderful memories you had together. Sending you my heartfelt sympathy, prayers and hugs to you during this difficult time. Kathy, I will miss you dearly. (I’m already missing our phone chats.) Love you! Marilyn

My Aunt Kathy was an unstoppable force, an immovable object. We spent most of our lives a world apart, but Kathy helped shape who I am today. She opened my eyes to the world, giving me my first taste for the arts and theatre. She taught me to love books, photographs, and good stories. Kathy taught me to question everything, to be curious, to explore. She insisted that dessert first was OK, and after 3AM too. She made clear the importance of wine with conversation, and gin with gardening. Kathy taught me to be relentless, to have confidence in my dreams. She taught me that black is always in style -- Always. Stories of frozen pickles, burnt bagels, and crazy neighbors I will pass down and remember her laugh. I feel so blessed to have been a part of Kathy’s life, and can only hope to honor her with mine. I miss you so much, and will carry you with me always. I love you Kathy.

Kathy (and Alex), you were always mystical figures to me, associated with magical time spent at your home in London, outside in the beautiful, symmetrical garden, the bright kitchen, or at the theater. Kathy took such an interest in me and Emmett, genuinely wanting to know what was going on in our lives, and equally invested in our dreams for the future. We would receive boxes of books in the mail as kids, whether we were in France or the US, and she always picked the perfect books, ones that we couldn't put down until they were finished and that we would reread over and over again. We would picture her far away, walking to her famous London bookstore and selecting books for all of us kids that were almost written especially for each of us. She knew I loved both fantasy fiction, and ironically, World War II books, and each time they arrived, I would escape into these very different worlds for days at a time. I can still name books that I own and love that came from her hands, and her books shaped both me and Emmett into lifelong readers, something that Emmett brought up to me and my mom only a few weeks ago. I knew she was a confident, strong, and sophisticated woman and I always wanted to impress her. I knew how much she loved taking care of Alex, and how well taken-care of she was by Alex. She was one of the major people in my life who instilled a love of travel and living among different cultures in me, something that has profoundly shaped how I have lived my life. She valued education so highly, and always supported an ambition to learn endlessly. My interactions with her over recent years were mainly through phone calls, early in the morning US time, were she took such an interest in my Peace Corps service and my journey to become a nurse, a goal that I am thrilled she saw me achieve and knew how much passion and joy I take in nursing as a career. She talked at length about parallels and differences between the US and Israeli healthcare system, as well as particular nurses and caregivers who had had a positive impact on her life in the past years. And she always talked about her and Alex's incredible garden in Israel, which I never saw for myself. She sent me photos and described the climate, and plants that grew particularly well there. She inspired me to plant my own flowers and update her with photos of my progress. Alex, Kathy was so lucky to love you and be so loved and cared for by you for many happy years. I will remember Aunt Kathy for many years to come, and she will be a part of me and of the care of give to my family and my patients, always.

My fondest memories of Aunt Kathy all involve books. Boxes of books, unique books from British bookstores. News clippings about my favorites. Years of correspondence updating her on the things I was reading. For someone I saw only a handful of times in the last 27 years to have had such a large impact on my life is truly remarkable, and is a testament to all the other things being mentioned on this page here. Aunt Kathy set a great example for what it means to support and love your family.

My earliest memories of my Aunt Kathy were when Paul, Laney, and I were small children living in Connecticut. Kathy was attending classes at a local university so we saw her often and loved having her around. For some reason, we gave her the nickname “Ratfink”, which we used fondly and thought was very funny. Kathy played along with us and enjoyed it as much as we did. Kathy was my godmother and while she wasn’t a particularly religious person she took the role seriously. To Kathy, the role meant that as my godmother she was responsible for looking out for me. She was always reminding me that she was my godmother and this was her job, even when I was an adult with my own family. Shortly after I had graduated from college I spent several weekends with Kathy at her apartment in New York City; enjoying the local restaurants, taking in the sites, and spending hours at her little kitchen table talking. My mom had passed away a few years earlier and I was at an age where I needed a female adult with whom I could share things. This was one of those times when Kathy would remind me that she was my godmother and it was her job to look out for me. She filled a painful void for me, gave me a shoulder to cry on, and helped me get through a difficult time. Kathy visited me shortly after my first child was born. I hadn’t given Alison a real bath yet because I was terrified I’d drop her but Kathy was there for me once again. We put Alison's baby tub in the kitchen sink and awkwardly bathed her together, getting completely soaked. Kathy loved that memory and would often bring it up when we were together and we would have a good laugh. Kathy was passionate about nurturing a love for books and reading in our children. She would shop for books for our kids at her favorite bookstore while she and Alex were in England. She took great care in selecting the perfect book for each great-niece or nephew depending on their age and interests. She always made the perfect choices for my kids and they would get so excited when their special packages would arrive. I loved reading those books with them and we became quite fond of some of the characters, looking forward to the next book in the series. Alison and Danny saved their favorite ones, stored away for their own children to enjoy one day. The gift of books will be something they will always remember fondly about their Great Aunt Kathy and Uncle Alex. Growing up we did not see our “Texas” cousins very often, knowing them mostly from photos. Having a close-knit family was important to Kathy. She wanted that for all the members of the Freedman family so when we were adults with our own families she made it her mission to build that connection. In 2001 she orchestrated our first family reunion, complete with “Freedman Family Reunion” t-shirts. Unfortunately, Michelle wasn’t able to make it, but the rest of us were all there, along with our 10 children. Thanks to her efforts these family gatherings became more common in the following years as we celebrated special occasions together. She gave us the gift of family and it is one of Kathy’s legacies that we will always be thankful for. Kathy wanted to help her family in any way she could and was always very generous, but she didn’t like to make a big deal out of it or draw attention to it. I am sure each of us has a story we could tell about what Kathy and Alex have done for our families to support us over the years. I know it meant a lot to Kathy to be able to have an important impact, in one way or another, on our lives. I am sure we would all agree that she succeeded, they both did. We will all be forever grateful for the mark Kathy and Alex made on our lives with their caring and generosity. In 2014 Kathy came back to New York City for the last time and Paul, Kerry, Laney, and I visited with her over the weekend. We hadn’t seen her since 2010 and it was clear that her Parkinson’s had advanced. Kathy was very thin, walked with a cane, and looked very fragile. This was all very misleading though because she was still tough as nails and we spent the weekend trying to keep up with her! She had us moving all weekend long; going to museums, out to lunch and dinners, and shopping for clothes to take back to Israel. We nicknamed her the “Energizer Bunny”, after the battery commercial, and she lived up to that name for the rest of her life! I was grateful to have visited Kathy and Alex in Israel, along with my sister Laney, each year for the past few years. It was nice to finally see how they lived, share some of their day-to-day experiences, and spend time with them talking about their life in Israel. Alex set up a bistro table for us in the garden by the pool and that is where you could usually find Kathy, Laney, and me drinking coffee in the morning, or vodka tonics in the evening, and hooting it up like three teenagers. Alex would putter in his gardens and try to stay far away from the three crazy ladies, but Greisha was always by our side! We sold our house at the beginning of this year, just before the pandemic started, and have been looking for a house to buy ever since. Every time I spoke to Kathy the first thing she would ask me is “did you get a house?” It was typical of Kathy to worry about everyone else first. She was more concerned about me finding a house than her failing health! Maybe, as my godmother, she still felt like she had to look out for me. I was fortunate enough to have been able to speak to her the day before she passed. She wasn’t speaking anymore but they held the phone up to her and I gave her the good news that we had finally put a contract on a house. I was told that her eyes were moving under her eyelids when I spoke to her so it appeared she heard and understood me. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to ease her mind. As a child, Kathy was our “Ratfink”. As an adult, she was our “Energizer Bunny”. She was tough, determined, critical, funny, loyal, caring, and generous. And despite her ailments and constant pain, like the Energizer Bunny, she just kept going and going. We admired her, we loved her, and we will miss her. Rest in peace Kathy, you will always be in our hearts. We love you Alex and share in your pain. You are in our thoughts every day and we hope you can find some comfort knowing how you and Kathy have touched our lives and how much you mean to us.

‘Aunt’ Kathy was a huge role model for me growing up as a kid. As a young girl growing up in small town Texas, I was always excited to see aunt Kathy and hear all her stories of life, work, and travels. She was an amazing woman that I looked up to and always thought ‘I want to be like that..I want to work hard, be a successful woman and travel the world’..she was a huge role model and inspiration to me. I was lucky enough to also get to spend time with both her and Alex while living in London. We would always meet up for dinner and theatre nights, which she has such passion for. I did as well and was glad to have those wonderful moments..think one of my favorites is when we saw Ralph fiennes at the small noodle bar before the show ‘art’ that we were going to see him in. We had a great laugh on that one! Alex, I’m so very sorry to hear the news. Kathy will be truly missed! Out hearts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time but I do believe her fighting spirit will stay within our hearts and minds! Love Chrissy & Sean

When I think of Kathy, I think of the word "determined." I have always been impressed and amazed by her determination to keep moving forward, to do what she loved and be with whom she loved despite ill health and great pain. But, what meant the most to me was how determined she was to know me and to know my children, even though we didn't get to see each other very often. Kathy really listened when I spoke with her. She arranged that theater trip to London for me and Bailey because she knew how much Bailey adored performing and that she loved Shakespeare. Nick, Bailey, Eva and Willa loved receiving the books that Kathy chose so thoughtfully. Package day was very exciting in our house, with all the kids hoping the books would be for them. She was always determined to get them books that would mean something to them, recognizing each of them individually. She used to say that she didn't want a "thank you" from the kids, she wanted to know what they thought about the book in order to help her to select the perfect book for each of them. When one of them was struggling with reading comprehension, she sent books with illustrations to help her follow the story. When someone became obsessed with France, she sent books about France. And, when my son hated reading, Kathy wouldn't give up on him. She was determined to find the book that would capture his interest, and hopefully spark a love of reading. She continued to send him books about the different things he was interested in. When he finally got a book he connected with, she sent him every copy in the series. He has been an avid reader ever since, and I am so grateful for that gift. More recently, Claire and I were lucky enough to spend some time with the both of you in Israel. We had nights sitting around the table drinking wine and trading stories. I was happy to learn more about Kathy's life and the Freedman/Swiontek families; stories I was able to pass on to my kids. She truly led an interesting life! I am so grateful to Kathy, not just for her generosity, but for her support and encouragement over the years. Alex, we are all thinking of you and hoping that you are finding comfort in your memories of Kathy as we are. We will carry her in our hearts.

As we in the Freedman family say, “Kathy was a tough bird.” We say this with true affection. Her toughness was displayed with her persistent emphasis on maintaining and expanding the Freedman family connections and relationships through the next generations. Her help, often times pushing us, to coordinate the many family reunions that we have held, really strengthened the connections between Bob and Kathy, Bob and Jim’s children and to initiate relationships between their grandchildren. We are all in a better place today because of Kathy’s persistence and involvement. WeI remember another example of Kathy’s toughness, when she came to NY some years ago and first Laney and then Kerry, Claire and I spent a couple of days visiting with her and touring the city. She was “thin as a whip” and walking with a walking stick; we were worried that she would get blown over by the wind or knocked over by a passing New Yorker. She, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to this and navigated herself through the streets, walking, getting in and out of cabs, going to museums, shops, restaurants (we had the best pasta we have ever had at Il Postino near the UN building) from uptown to downtown and in-between. We raced along trying to keep up with her. We feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity, when we lived in France to visit you both and to have you visit us and to share some really great times exploring together and even working in the garden a bit. As our kids were quite young then, this really cemented a strong relationship for them with Kathy and you. Kathy’s interest in and support of Gillian and Emmett’s growing passion in reading helped this become a life long passion for both of them. They had many years of receiving the generous packages of books that you both would send to them from the bookshop on Golders Green and elsewhere. They were lucky to even receive some of the Harry Potter volumes from the UK before they were released in the US, becoming the envy of all their friends. And, there were letters sent back and forth to and from Kathy expressing her interest and enthusiasm in what they were studying and how they were developing as young adults. We are so thankful for this engagement with us and our children throughout the years. While the circumstances were not ideal, I also feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to visit with both you and Kathy in Israel a couple of years ago after Kathy’s hip operation. Staying with you for nearly two weeks gave me a great opportunity to share in your day-to-day lives and to hear about and see some of the community that has been your home for so long. It was also a special opportunity to sit with Kathy and go through some of her photo albums (which I had never seen before) and have her tell me about her life at these earlier times and to learn more about my father and uncle Jim. I was particularly interested in the stories that Kathy shared with me about her career in the fashion industry. I was happy that I was able to give you both some support during this time. It was also nice to see the beautiful home and gardens that you have surrounding you and to see how comfortable you were making things for Kathy as her health gave her greater and greater daily difficulty. Alex, we are thinking of you and hoping that your fond memories of your years together with Kathy will help you now that she has gone. We are also thinking of Kathy’s spirit and the enduring influence that she will have on all of the extended Freedman family.

Kathy and I met about 14 years ago. I wanted to learn to quilt and my Swiss friend Hanni introduced me to Kathy, the leader of the local quilt group. The group consisted predominantly of expats, spending a couple of years in Israel on their husbands’ postings. Kathy and I were the only “locals”. She had prepared a “starter package” for me and guided me through the process... During the following years, even after all the international friends had left the country, we continued quilting and sharing tips and helping each other solving practical problems. She had a very critical eye and insisted on seeing all my finished projects. We did not only share our love for sewing, Kathy was also an avid reader. We shared books and joined in book club meetings at the International Women’s Club. It was her passion for gardening that made her most well known in the Women’s Club. For many years she was an active member of the gardening committee. Over all these years Kathy and I became close friends. We met for numerous coffee breaks, had fun conversations about our pet dogs, new quilt projects, fascinating new books or shared the latest news in both our families. She loved to tell about her travels with Alex, her nieces and nephews and her life before Israel. Even though her health was deteriorating we continued to meet as it became increasingly difficult for her to express herself. I visited Kathy the last time the day before her passing. Even though her eyes were closed I want to believe that she knew that I was there, that she heard my words to her and felt the love in my heart. Thank you Kathy for being my friend. I miss you! Yvette

As we in the Freedman family say, “Kathy was a tough bird.” We say this with true affection. Her toughness was displayed with her persistent emphasis on maintaining and expanding the Freedman family connections and relationships through the next generations. Her help, often times pushing us, to coordinate the many family reunions that we have held, really strengthened the connections between Bob and Kathy, Bob and Jim’s children and to initiate relationships between their grandchildren. We are all in a better place today because of Kathy’s persistence and involvement. WeI remember another example of Kathy’s toughness, when she came to NY some years ago and first Laney and then Kerry, Claire and I spent a couple of days visiting with her and touring the city. She was “thin as a whip” and walking with a walking stick; we were worried that she would get blown over by the wind or knocked over by a passing New Yorker. She, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to this and navigated herself through the streets, walking, getting in and out of cabs, going to museums, shops, restaurants (we had the best pasta we have ever had at Il Postino near the UN building) from uptown to downtown and in-between. We raced along trying to keep up with her. We feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity, when we lived in France to visit you both and to have you visit us and to share some really great times exploring together and even working in the garden a bit. As our kids were quite young then, this really cemented a strong relationship for them with Kathy and you. Kathy’s interest in and support of Gillian and Emmett’s growing passion in reading helped this become a life long passion for both of them. They had many years of receiving the generous packages of books that you both would send to them from the bookshop on Golders Green and elsewhere. They were lucky to even receive some of the Harry Potter volumes from the UK before they were released in the US, becoming the envy of all their friends. And, there were letters sent back and forth to and from Kathy expressing her interest and enthusiasm in what they were studying and how they were developing as young adults. We are so thankful for this engagement with us and our children throughout the years. While the circumstances were not ideal, I also feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to visit with both you and Kathy in Israel a couple of years ago after Kathy’s hip operation. Staying with you for nearly two weeks gave me a great opportunity to share in your day-to-day lives and to hear about and see some of the community that has been your home for so long. It was also a special opportunity to sit with Kathy and go through some of her photo albums (which I had never seen before) and have her tell me about her life at these earlier times and to learn more about my father and uncle Jim. I was particularly interested in the stories that Kathy shared with me about her career in the fashion industry. I was happy that I was able to give you both some support during this time. It was also nice to see the beautiful home and gardens that you have surrounding you and to see how comfortable you were making things for Kathy as her health gave her greater and greater daily difficulty. Alex, we are thinking of you and hoping that your fond memories of your years together with Kathy will help you now that she has gone. We are also thinking of Kathy’s spirit and the enduring influence that she will have on all of the extended Freedman family.